Indescribable;;

Thursday, February 2, 2006:

argh. i dunno if i can use skype! might be blocked too. darn. sorry. i realise my internet only works from 4-6 and from 7-8. hmmm. this is kinda sucky. so all my surfing time and research time is only restricted within 3 hours. :\ and i need help for english (which is like exactly like lit, we've got to do plays and text and stuff).. so if you all still have lit notes from last yr that so happens to be in the computer would you mind sending them to me!! (: lots of homework to do and so little time.. i wonder whats the load like in 3 mths time. dont even dare think about it. :S anyway. i should go read my english book. its a play! called a streetcar named desire.. i wonder if all the plays written always have something to do with homosexuality problems. i think a view from the bridge last yr had right? hmm. this play has also.. hmm. ah well (: i want chocolate.

wednesday, 1st feb 2006, 10.24pm - school blues
so it has been 2 days of school already and i'm exhausted by the growing pile of homework and studying that needs to be done. test dates are out already can you believe it! on the first lesson of the subject! gosh. they are fast.. the whole day roughly goes like this now:

4 something - wake up to the birds making such a din and the sun shining into my room
5 something - wake up again to those frustrating birds
6.30 - alarm goes off. yes, its time to get out of bed
6.45 - swimming training..
8 - go back to the boarding house and bath and get into uniform
8.15 - make breakfast and gobble it down at the dining hall
8.30 - stuff everything into my bag, wear my shoes
8.45 - try to get to my locker and stuff all my stuff in there
8.55 - get to link (its like homeroom, where they take attendance and read the announcements before school starts
9.05 - school starts
11 something - recess! try to grab something from the food trays hidden among the mass of girls from the boarding house
11 something - school resumes
1.10 - lunch! YUMMM. (i'm usually starving by then, cos the portions at recess are really cos the portions at recess are really measly, and the portions at lunch are equally pathetic)
1 something - school resumes
3.35 - school ends! return to my room, and slack around, talk to jeannie. (but will probably be homework time as the year progresses)
5.30 - dinner, which is super early for me, but who's complaining. i'm hungry already
6 - go back up to do my homework
9 - prep time ends (this starts at 7 actually, but since i usually eat my dinner really quickly, there's nothing to do but study. so i study) and i do nonsense stuff. either i study somemore, or i'll make calls around this time, so you might expect a call from me. if you do want me to call, sms me at my old no okay! i need some relief time too. and i'm pretty sure its normal rates for you guys. 3 people confirmed that, so it must be true..
10.30 - i must sleep by then. or at least get into bed.. cos otherwise i wont have any energy left and i'll be really cranky cos of swimming training.

so. there you go. my day-to-day life in this place. i guess life is okay so far. dont have any better word to use. everytime one of the house mothers ask how the day went i really dont know how to respond, so i just say okay. there isnt much to say really. how would it go to say i didnt talk to anyone today? (besides jeannie of course, by the way jeannie is this other singaporean girl who's one year younger from cedars and we're equally lonely and homesick, so we have something in common, but she's a yr below and in different houses so its a bit difficult to hang out together.) or like i go, no one talked to me in class today? or if i start complaining to her.. then she'd probably think that i'm such a procrastinator. sigh. its not easy..

but God has been good enough already. in the boarding house i've got jeannie and amanda (though she's in her room studying most of the time), i have one other yr 12 at link (which is pretty good cos that means there isnt a problem of a clique of yr 12s and they dont include me, thats whats happening to jeannie) and she's quite friendly and all. and at school i have andrea's group to be in at least, cos it'd be quite sad if i just sit around by myself. its only probably dinner thats hard. cos we have to sit in yr groups, and not that the yr 12 boarders are unfriendly or anything, its just that they all know each other from previous years, so they end up talking to each other and i have no idea what they talk about. sigh. i do wish i'm back home.. qt the other night spoke about how trusting Him pleases God... i know he has a plan for me and its perfect. but its so difficult to say, yes God, i trust you 100% and put a big smile on my face (even after swimming training - gosh that is SO tiring) and believe that he'll solve everything for me. still trying to find that big plan instored for me. sigh. but i guess trusting in Him has so far kept me from crying about my problems.. so thats good. i'll be strong. its only 2 1/2 more months till term break arrives. i can do this.

a shout of praise.
4:27 PM